Mental health has been one of the ongoing areas of interest in the face of the Covid-19 pandemic. One of the reasons the UK Government gave for keeping the schools open for as long as they did, and for closing them to be a last resort, was the recognition that children’s mental health as well as their education would be impacted if they were sent home.
Place2Be launched the first ever Children’s Mental Health Week in 2015 to shine a spotlight on the importance of children and young people’s mental health.
Now in its seventh year, they hope to encourage more people than ever to get involved and spread the word. Last year, the theme was ‘Find your brave’, which I wrote about here. The world – our children’s world – has changed so much over the intervening period. But, the ongoing focus on supporting our children’s mental health is a constant.
This year’s theme is ‘Express yourself’. We know that creative expression – regardless of the quality of the output – boost our mood and increases our well-being, so I am pleased to see this as the focus for our children. Place2Be have this to say, “It’s important to remember that being able to express yourself is not about being the best at something or putting on a performance for others. It is about finding a way to show who you are, and how you see the world, that can help you feel good about yourself.” Our children are growing up in the digital age; a time of constant access to online resources such as YouTube and Instagram, where they are entertained, and where the world that is presented to them is carefully curated. They see people gaining huge followings by singing sea shanties on Tiktok, Banksy-style murals that are flawless, or dance routines that are perfectly choreographed, and carried out by fit, able-bodied people with perfect smiles in a perfect 10. Their world, and their creative expressions, may not measure up.
I would like to suggest that our role, as parents and carers, is to offer a foil to this, and to encourage our children to express themselves. A phrase that I revisit is ‘children do what you do, not what you say’, so my first encouragement is for you – dear parent or carer – to express yourself. This can be image-making, cooking, journaling, dance, flower-arranging, knitting - my word! - the possibilities are endless! If you can, do this in shared family time, or while the children in your care are present. Seeing us expressing ourselves normalises it for them, and also gives them examples of what they could do. It also – and I believe this to be a key, key point – show them what ‘express yourself’ looks like in real life rather than on social media. They can see us make mistakes, start over, or laugh at how something has turned out compared to what we thought it would look like.
Here are some examples that Place2Be suggests for us:
1. Could you build on existing interests or passions? Think about what has helped them get through the past year. A love of dancing? Baking? Drawing? Fashion? Encourage your child by noticing their unique interests and praising their efforts.
2. Trying new things can be a great way to find a new creative outlet. There are lots of online tutorials and video demos that you and your child could be inspired by… could you try out something new together? Or perhaps ask someone you know to share their creative hobbies and give them a go.
3. Some children may not think of themselves as being creative. Try to focus on the importance of the process and the way it can make them feel, rather than the end result. Try not to judge their efforts and remember to give encouragement for trying rather than for doing something well.
4. Listening carefully can help children feel more comfortable and confident when expressing themselves. Try to minimise distractions and give your child your full attention when you’re spending time together, being aware of your own body language and eye contact. You might want to try summarising what they’ve shared and acknowledging their feelings.
5. Children are expressing themselves all the time but not necessarily with words. ‘Listen’ to everything they are trying to tell you with their behaviour, or with their play and creativity or with their silence. It’s all self-expression.
6. Remember – you don’t need a lot of expensive equipment to get creative at home. Recyclable materials or older items you no longer have a use for can provide amazing inspiration, and of course there’s no limit to your imagination!
They also make this point, which I believe to be the most important of all:
“Given that the past year will have left many of us feeling out of control and helpless, supporting children and young people to express themselves is arguably more important than ever.”
When children are able to find creative ways to share their feelings, thoughts or ideas it can help them feel good about themselves and who they are.
Place2Be has also put together a really useful resource with a variety of activities to support wellbeing in families. You can find it here . It covers art activities, supporting the mental health of the children in our care, the daily mile, the Booktrust’s free books, videos, games etc, BAFTA kids shares film recommendations, and ideas from the RHS to help us connect with nature. These resources can help us express ourselves, and support our children to do this, too.
About Jane: Jane is a Positive Psychology Practitioner and Coach, based in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.
Jane currently has capacity for two new coaching clients, please get in touch by emailing jane@adoptingpositivity.co.uk if you would like to find out more
She is a Director of Autonomous Ideas Limited, founder of Adopting Positivity, and part of the collaborative team at Essex Family Law. She is also a trustee for Home for Good, Suffolk, and an Adopter Voice Champion for Adoption UK.
Jane is also co-founder and co-organiser of the Positive Psychology Summit:UK.
She is a Fellow of the Positive Psychology Guild. Autonomous Ideas Ltd, and the Positive Psychology Summit:UK are organisational members.
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